At the gym among wolves: my pack moment

Reading time: 3 min | Author: Silvia Talabér

OMG – that’s what I thought when I was recently working out in the free weights area of my home gym and found myself surrounded by a pack of men training. Eleven men prowling around the machines like wolves, staring intently at their reflections as if they were their next victims and clutching the heavy weights like their latest prey. A field report.

Cliché? Totally!

But hey, let me explain: 11 men and me… to be honest, it was a little intimidating. Nevertheless, I trained and tried not to let my insecurity show. But my mind wouldn’t relax.

The fact THAT I felt a little uncomfortable in this situation surprised me. Because I’m the one who told you in my last blog post that being physically and muscularly strong triggers more self-efficacy – and can therefore strengthen self-confidence and self-esteem.

So why should someone like me, who claims to be self-confident, a 36-year-old woman who is relatively knowledgeable about the gym, feel insecure in such a situation?

I was irritated. With myself. So much for empowerment. Wtf.

“Own your thoughts” is part of my credo, “Own it.” The fact that I didn’t really have control over my thoughts in this situation bothers me. My first impulse was to flee, to get away from the wolf pack. But why?

Sure, historically there is some evidence to suggest that men = evil, lots of men = dangerous. That’s how our female synapses are wired and socialized…but that’s exactly where the wolf, er, the dog is buried. Because as a rule, no one is at the gym to be evil. Not even men. Let’s be honest: most people (regardless of gender) are busy enough with themselves at the gym: self-care, self-optimization, self-improvement are the buzzwords here. Notice anything?

It’s about the SELF.

On my next visit, I paid closer attention to my surroundings. And I realized:

They don’t give a fuck.  

They care about themselves, not me. Whether wolf or she-wolf. My flight instinct: obsolete in this situation. My empowerment? Probably not quite mature here yet. My learning: reconnect my synapses for this gym situation. My goal: I want to be in control of my thoughts – not the other way around. Especially not because of misplaced flight instincts.

Like everyone else, I need to be fully present in the gym. I should “give less fucks”* about the others. Because they. do. not. care.

Evaluating this situation and reflecting deeply on my thoughts has resulted in me now moving around the gym completely without fear, not like a hunted animal. Even in the free weights area.

Conclusion: Own it – your body, your reflection, your thoughts.

So that the next time you look in the gym mirror, you chase yourself, only yourself and no one else. Be a wolf!

See you soon,

Silvia

*Famous quote from Marc Manson’s multi-award-winning and wonderfully ironic book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.” You simply must read it!