Own it! Your “Mirror, mirror, on the wall…”

Reading time: 6 min | Author: Silvia Talabér

Work out to be beautiful: for yourself, for others, for the community, for whom? It’s high time to get your thoughts in order and finally make it clear that it’s OK to work on being beautiful for yourself – and for others – through strength training.

Trigger warning: Today we’re talking plain language and talking about the topic of being “beautiful”. Being beautiful on the inside – and on the outside. How we deal with it and the examples we are given shapes us from an early age. Claiming that we only want to be beautiful for ourselves is only half the truth. And that’s not a bad thing, it’s completely normal. We must not allow the external influence on our self-image to gain the upper hand, but must primarily work on our own inner drive for our reflection and our self-worth. Strength training can help with this. But one thing is certain:

Teen idols & insecurities

Our appearance shapes us from an early age. From our teenage years at the latest, we take our cue from idols. My biggest idol was Britney Spears! It was a stroke of luck in terms of the body image we lived by, as the singer conveyed an athletic body image back then. Thank goodness I didn’t grow up as a teenager in the early 90s, when ultra-thin skinny models like Kate Moss filled the front pages of the tabloids.

And yet, even with my role models, I began to have doubts. Although I had always been an exercise enthusiast, I compared myself, occasionally perceiving myself as not slim enough and not muscular enough. Thanks to those around me, however, I never had any serious doubts. A little insecurity is part of the process of growing up. After all, in our teenage years we are on the way to finding and becoming our future selves (Süss 2004). We look to stars, peer groups – and nowadays also to social media. And that’s where it gets tricky, because on Insta, TikTok and the like, toned and well-trained bodies are currently held up as a mirror in a continuous loop.

Social media: If you want to be beautiful, you have to….

Suffering? No! There are now numerous content creators who explain that supposedly perfect bodies are literally put “in the right light” for social media (NZZ Megahertz 04.2025). They show that a higher body fat percentage, a lower belly, hip dips and cellulite are completely normal for women and not a flaw. The posts on #gymgirlreality by @annastrainingstipps are very authentic: While we all strive for perfection, it’s important to remain realistic. Also for the sake of mental health.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

We should definitely work to be beautiful for ourselves. However, it would be presumptuous to look at this aspect in isolation. We are social beings, we strive for attention, recognition and belonging. And that’s why we also want to be beautiful for those around us – because those around us are also our viewers (NZZ Megahertz 05.2025).

My mantra: I want to be pleasant for myself and for others, and that includes my appearance. I do strength training for myself. But compliments are also good for me: “Hey, you look really sporty” goes down like butter, because I have worked hard to achieve this sportiness through regular strength training, a healthy diet and discipline. A compliment like that is like a reward for my efforts. And it’s much more effective than someone saying “You have beautiful eyes”, because I really have no influence on the color and shape of my eyes.

For a long time, I didn’t want to admit that I wanted to be beautiful not only for myself, but also for others. The desire for external confirmation is often taboo – and the visual as the first level of perception of your counterpart is therefore downplayed.

It is not “socially desirable” to admit that we also want to be beautiful for others (Wolf 2025). I do it. And you know what? Although it sounds weird, it takes the pressure off me. Because I recognize that I am also influenced from the outside, that I am a social being and that I strive for recognition. The isolated view that beauty must come exclusively from within can put psychological pressure on me. Just like an exclusively external view. So the same applies here: It’s all in the mix.

True beauty comes from within

Of course, true beauty comes from within. After all, I am also an observer of myself. Whether in my head or in the mirror: I see and hear myself, I am “self-aware”. It is therefore helpful if I can live well with myself. Self-respect is important here. This includes respecting your mind and body. My body is my temple, or something like that. What helps me with this? Strength training: Because it helps me to organize my mind and shape my body.

When I am aware of myself, respect myself and thus create a higher self-esteem, I radiate more self-confidence. And that’s where the magic happens.

True beauty radiates outwards: OWN IT!

If I am self-confident, I radiate this – and this has an attractive effect on external observers. This in turn leads to more positive reactions from outside. There is a positive feedback effect: My efforts are seen and that motivates me to keep going. With strength training, with a healthy diet, with self-esteem.

A good friend once told me: Own it! Owne, so own your thoughts, your body, your reflection – don’t let yourself be owned. When you are fully yourself, you radiate that. It’s enormously attractive.

But also have the serenity to recognize that motivation is driven by both internal and external factors. That wanting recognition from the outside is not reprehensible, but simply human and completely okay.

OWN IT – your mental and physical strength, and be kind to your reflection.

Good luck with your strength training,

Silvia 

Sources:

Annastrainingstipps (2025): Anna Fitness & Trainingstipps (@annastrainingstipps) | TikTok. 

NZZ Megahertz (05.2025): Haben es attraktive Menschen wirklich leichter? In: Podcast NZZ Megahertz, Körperkult.  

NZZ Megahertz (04.2025): Wie Social Media unser Körperbild verzerrt. In: In: Podcast NZZ Megahertz, Körperkult.  

Gemini (2025): Was macht wahre Schönheit wirklich aus?  

Süss, Daniel (2004): Sozialisation und Veränderungen im Lebenslauf: Entwicklungsaufgaben. In: Mediensozialisation von Heranwachsenden. Dimensionen – Konstanten – Wandel.  

Wolf, Christian (2025): Lifehack für Erfolg überall. | life hack | TikTok